Saturday, August 25, 2012
Identity, Hay in Your Bra, and Wrestling, Seriously.
Blogging is weird. To begin, the word itself is either like a sound a swamp creature would make, or maybe something a singer or wrestler would say while rolling their shoulders and flopping their arms around, you know, to warm up. BLOG BLOG BLOG BLOG BLOG BLOG. (Fun fact: the word BLOG is a portmanteau of “web log”. Look it up. And did you know Twitter is considered “microblogging”? I don’t, cuz Twitter is stupid. Cuz I like to judge things I’ve never tried.)
When did blogging get so big, and why do people give a crap about reading other peoples’ crap? Is it escapist? Voyeuristic? Sympathetic? Obviously it depends on the subject of the blog, but why do we all think we are all worthy of “followers”? That’s just creepy. And it’s just public journaling. Why do we want others to read our stuff? Since reality shows took over the world and everyone thinks they can be a celebrity for doing nothing special whatsoever? I think yes. Mystery solved. You’re welcome. Am I famous yet?
Don’t you want to read about how there is nothing worse in this universe than getting hay in your bra? Because THAT’S indubitably the most pressing issue facing the world today. Seriously. No matter how I try or what approach I employ in throwing it over the fence, hay pieces and particulates manage to lodge themselves in the itchiest of places and NEVER leave. Fin.
Whatever. It’s naptime again, and once again it’s that time of day for pondering the difficult and deep questions of life, such as: coffee or beer? Should I take a shower or a nap? Apparently neither, cuz blogging is currently what’s happening. My excuse is that it’s easier to get up from the computer to scold wayward three-year-old boys—who are supposed to be napping but instead are wrestling—than it is to get out of the shower or up from a nap.
I don’t know what I was talking about last time when I said it would take some time to collect material for another lengthy blog. Who am I kidding? Of course I can come up with copious material at every moment. That last post was based on a single day. For reals, yo. And so far this one is about nothing, and is already long. I forgot that I liked to write, and my fingers forgot how to type anything longer than one sentence without cramping up.
But in the interest of expanding on my “INTRO”, which was severely lacking in any actual information due to my being distracted by decorative throw pillows, I am amassing a few of my favorite snippets from my facebook page, now that I am using a format intended for rants longer than one sentence. To begin, one of my favorite episodes of crazy…